How to Cope with Parenting an Autistic Child

This is an article I whipped up the other day. 

Parenting an autistic child is a very stressful responsibility. The boom of autism diagnoses has prompted many families to seek professional help for their children. Therapists and specialists are not the only solutions in caring for a child with special needs. It is imperative that parents also take care of themselves.

It is often said that good parenting means sacrificing for the child. This might be true in some areas of life, but basic necessities need not be overlooked. Parents who neglect their own sleep routines, food choices, and financial obligations are cumulatively worsening their anxiety. Finding balance is critical when caregiving for a child with special needs.

1. Establish a bedtime habit. Autistic children love rigid schedules and parents can benefit from a consistent nightly routine too. Parents should establish a regular bedtime not only for their children, but for themselves. A warm bath, relaxing music, candles, and herbal teas are just a few ways to truly enjoy the evening.

2. Eat foods that support wellness. Many autistic children require special diets because of allergies or food intolerances. This is an opportunity for parents to assess their own eating habits and adapt their diets to fit their own needs. Skipping meals, overeating, and indulging in unhealthy substances decrease energy and can cause illness.

3. Balance the checkbook. Medical expenses can escalate when a family member is disabled. Organizing paperwork, keeping track of bills, and paying down debt are daily tasks which eliminate some of the stress. Most of all, parents should save a little money regularly. Financial management books or courses are wise when caretaking for an autistic child and planning is essential.

4. Avoid compulsion. Continuously researching autism and the latest findings is beneficial to an extent. However, lengthy amounts of time reading about or talking about autism might increase anxiety. Finding hobbies, exercising, or taking time alone are a few helpful ideas when parents experience “information overload” from caring for their disabled children.

5. Go on a date. Having an autistic child causes a great deal of stress on a marriage. Scheduled date nights and time together bonds couples during times of uncertainty. Weekly or bimonthly dates build marital relationships and promote healthy parenting. For single parents, date nights with friends are beneficial in order to have interaction with other emotionally mature adults.

6. Find a social network. Social groups can be found within communities, school districts, church organizations, or the internet. When parents actively participate in an autism network, they are better able to cope with symptoms and set obtainable goals. More important, parents can communicate openly with other families who struggle with similar issues. They are not alone in their struggles. (See National Geographic: Stress: Portrait of a Killer)

7. Have fun. Becoming a recluse is obviously not ideal. Going to the movies, the park, and the zoo are nice places for kids. However, autistic children truly benefit from a wide variety of exposure. Touring museums, visiting historical sights, camping, boating, travelling, having pillow fights, or visiting local shelters are just a few things to do aside from the mundane. With a little planning and a positive attitude, autistic children can have a wonderful time doing things that their parents can enjoy too. Parents who laugh, play, and have fun will teach their children by example to find joy in the atmosphere around them.

8. Breathe in times of turmoil. When an autistic child’s overstimulation sets in, it is comparable to having a newborn baby again. Not knowing what to do or how to help the child often makes parents feel defeated. Learning to breathe in times of high stress is a simple, fast-acting remedy in times of escalating frustration. Yogic breathing techniques (also known as Pranayama) bring peace and clarity when it seems like the whole world is caving in. Parents who practice conscious breathing are better able to make safe, beneficial decisions when their autistic children cannot communicate their needs.

For more information about stress on parents/relatives of autism, please visit the following:

For LDS Mothers:
http://disabilities.lds.org/disabilities/eng/disability-resources/family-resources/helps-for-mothers

For LDS Fathers:
http://disabilities.lds.org/disabilities/eng/disability-resources/family-resources/helps-for-fathers

For Grandparents:
http://disabilities.lds.org/disabilities/eng/disability-resources/family-resources/helps-for-grandparents
 
For all:
http://www.autism-society.org/site/PageServer?pagename=life_fam_stress