Pain and Autism...continuation of John's Ear Infection

I thought I would write briefly as I have received a few emails of concern for John's ear infection. Here's a little info about autism and pain.

For some children on the autism spectrum pain looks a little like this:

Small pain = BIG REACTION (flapping, screaming, retaliation, rolling around, moaning)
Big pain = Social shut down (maybe initial crying, but then withdrawing from environment)

Here's an example. Several years ago John fell on our tile floor and landed on his head. He screamed for about 1 minute, then was unable to discuss his pain. It was a very disturbing concussion...with nausea and a hematoma the size of an egg. Normal reactions might include screaming "Owie!! Mommy!!" But John didn't want hugs or comfort...he wanted to be left alone.

Contrast with this scenario: Two days ago, Ella flicked John with the fly swatter. John's world caved in immediately. He screamed and cried and wanted a hug. He was offended and is still complaining about it. Even when we went to the ER for his ears, he said it was because Ella flicked him with the fly swatter.

So, in a nutshell, Adam and I are trying to find the balance of understanding our son's true pain. For autistic children, pain is much different. Small things might be excruciating. We also are trying to teach John we don't go to the hospital for little things, even if they are nuerologically very painful for him. I hope this helps explains our dilemma a little better.

John's Ear infection...trip to the ER

Yes, John has an ear infection which thrived despite our garlic oil naturopathic attempts.

He was feeling better for a week then today he started crying and saying his shoulder hurt. He complained for two hours about this bizarre shoulder pain. When he started burning up with a fever, I figured it was time to go to the doctor. Our Naturopathic Physician is unfortunately on vacation, so we were left with the Del Webb hospital on the "worst day of the year" as we were told by the employees. Who, by the way, treated me like some psychopath mother.

So, after a 6 hour ER visit, we found out he still has a tiny ear infection....nothing else. He had strep swabs and chest x-rays, but he's fine!

I guess John needed to teach us an ear infection can sometimes feel like a sore shoulder... ? ?

These are the moments I want to step inside his head to know what it's like.

Merry Christmas!

We went up to Flagstaff for some serious snow. Paapa came too. Our "short drive up to the mountains" turned into an all day event. Ella even helped out by throwing up all over the backseat of the car. We made it there, though. And we were happy to hang out in some 26 degree weather.

Ella and John were showing off their mitts. Umm...you kids are going to need a little more clothing than that!!

Mingus Mountain Area... I know I know, we took the VERY long way.

Snow in Sedona. The picture just doesn't do it justice.

Finally there!

Ella face planted in the snow on this one. She was a tough girl.

7,000 ft elevation and the NAU parking lot = Fabulous Memories.

Ella's Preschool Christmas Party

Ella had her Preschool Christmas Party last night.

She sang for all the parents and was so brave.

Cute crafts.

Ella with friends!

I'll get the video of her singing if it will upload.

Reflections of Christ

I've seen this many times, maybe you have too, but I just wanted to put it on my blog to share. All of the work in this video is done by an LDS photographer, Mark Mabry. His work, featured at the Mesa Temple visitor's center, can also be seen at http://www.reflectionsmg.com/.

One more Winter Performance video

John's Winter Performance

John had his Kindergarten Winter Performance tonight. Nana and Paapa came too! John was the loudest child there. His teacher prepared me before hand. It was a thrill to see John singing so loud. At times he would fixate on the bell he was holding, then he would burst out into song. The audience was laughing at John's decibel level. We stood proud and understanding. It became even more clear to us that John truly is one in a million. He's such a gift to us.

I think my "Mom Gone Mad" experience has changed into a "Mom Gone Proud" one.

Mom Gone Mad

Yesterday we had a usual busy day with school and the dentist. I was folding laundry in the laundry room and John came up to me asking for a popsicle. I said, "No, we're going to have dinner soon."

John reacted in his usual way, this time he slammed the dryer door into my knees.

Call it a disorder, call it being spoiled...whatever it was - I was FED UP. I grabbed his little arms and swung him into the time-out spot. I don't spank the kids. I'm proud to say they don't know what a spanking is. But I certainly had one firm grip on John.

I went back to the laundry room and just couldn't cool down. My mind reflected on my own childhood and how times have changed so much. If I slammed the dryer door into my mother's knees when I was little, I don't think I would have seen the light of day again.

Adam came to check on me and I let out my frustration. I complained how I wasn't getting respect and how the children were treating me horribly. Suddenly I realized I wasn't teaching them how to treat me.

John came out from time-out and I told him to march himself into the laundry room. He rolled his eyes at me. That was IT.

I let out a yelling, crying fit pointing my finger at John telling him how he doesn't respect me and I will take everything away from him he EVER shows disrespect like that again. Long story short, the rest of the night was filled with a family night about giving and respect and being grateful.

I showed John and Ella pictures of starving children on the computer. We sat down together and brainstormed ways to be grateful and giving during Christmas.

I have no idea if my "Mom Gone Mad" ordeal has traumatized them. But Adam and I learned a lot about teaching the children better. John said we needed to do a better job teaching them how to be grateful and giving. Adam and I agreed. I didn't go to bed last night feeling guilty. I felt more determined to teach John and Ella.

Do any of you have "Mom Gone Mad" stories?? Please share.

Balloon Glow - Dad's Birthday

We went to the balloon glow on Friday night for my dad's birthday. We had to wait around for a little while. Suddenly all of the balloons started firing up and it was amazing. The Arizona Skyhawk skydivers jumped from 6,000 feet in lit suits. That was our favorite part. John even got a picture with one of them. These sky divers are some of the best in the world, with 8,000 jumps, some as high as 25,000 feet. We also saw the fireworks. It was a fabulous night!

Stadium Event

There's a fun Christmas event at the stadium here this Friday night at 6pm. There will be hot air balloons, skydivers and firworks. If you live near us, you should go too!!

They're also having a huge craft fair with pony rides and a car show on Saturday.

Heroes

I was just talking to Adam's grandfather last night. He told stories of growing up and serving in the military on submarines for World War II. I enjoyed hearing his account of historical events. What surprised me most was his unwaivering acceptance of "the way things were". He suffered difficult living conditions, the depression, and the hardships of being in the military. But he never gave off a sense of regret. He was obedient. I admired this from him.

He even told a story when he got in trouble as he was stationed in New London. He and several friends were looking through the scope at the city-scape of New York. They were not fulfilling their duty to be on patrol. He was put in a separate room 3 nights in a row...one bed, no blankets, no heat.

He also told stories of living conditions during the depression, how his finger was cut off by a saw blade, and being left home alone for a couple days with his little brother at 7 years old.

What amazed me was his reaction to all of these stories. He laughed!

These are the heroes we never see on TV.