Bessie

One of the most difficult decisions I've had to make came this week. Fighting it for months, we decided to put our dog Bessie down. This will be dog number two lost this year.

We first adopted Bessie (then named Sassy) from the Humane Society. I'll never forget seeing her face behind the cage. She was a very calm, not jumping around, dream come true Border Collie mix.

We decided to get to know her better. I had been researching for MONTHS trying to find a good breed of dog for our family. We wanted an energetic dog, ready for camping trips and family fun. Bessie met ALL the requirements plus she was sweet and gentle.

We brought her home. We found out she was infested with ticks and had been living in a cage outside. The the vet said she had bad signs of cage chewing on her teeth. She must have been living in an awful circumstance. But she was so sweet and we enjoyed having her around. She never went to the bathroom in the house, not once. She never chewed furniture or barked annoyingly. The kids could jump all over her and she would just lay still.

Quickly, though, our dream come true shifted. Bessie developed an unusual obsession with me. Jumping and biting my hands and acting wild every time I entered the door. Not with anyone else, just me. I thought she needed more exercise.

At this point, Bessie was already jogging along side my bike for miles and miles. She would go 6 miles, no problem. So we trained her how to use the treadmill. For over an hour, she would run miles and miles. I was worried she would wear out the treadmill. We gave her chew toys and took her to the dog park regularly. She had doggie play dates every week and even chased our laser light at the park. We even had her run along side our car...we clocked her at 29 miles per hour once.

A couple months ago, after a long run, Bessie got off the treadmill and started playing with our neighbor boy who was over our house. I told her to back off, commanding her to "get back". I recognized her excited behavior and didn't want her to jump on the little boy.

She lunged in with excitement and bit his leg...harder than a border collie "nip". She bit hard.

She didn't break skin, but I was SHOCKED and furious. I grabbed her, she rolled on her back instantly - in submission. Luckily, the boy was fine.

I analyzed the situation over and over. What am I doing wrong? I met with the vet, talked with vet techs, dog trainers and dog owners. I did extensive online research and tried to use different methods to help her.

Every professional I spoke with said I was a great owner and some dogs have compulsive neurological issues. If she didn't improve in 6 weeks, I needed to put her down.

I started an intensive program for her. I didn't want to let her get away with any exwew2cited behavior. Her behavior seemed to improve so we kept her through the summer. Then, as we went to New Mexico this weekend, she bit again...this time a friend of the family. Then she bit Greg.

It was heartbreaking. All the hard work, and we were back to square one. I felt defeated and I felt bad for all who were bit.

After talking with Adam, we decided for every one's safety, it was too risky to keep trying to rehabilitate her. The efforts and the costs have truly been exhausted. I've read so much about the behaviors of dogs and she is definately a "red zone" dog. With the therapy and intense training she's alreay been given, we only can assume this case would be difficult for even the highest trained dog rehabilitator.

It's hard to not feel like a failure. I love Bessie and always will. I never wanted to let her down. But deep in my heart, as painful as it is, there's a voice saying "It's time to let go." I hope the healing will come soon and I hope to reunite with a healthy Bessie someday.

SCD Cupcakes

I got a call from John's teacher the other day. She forgot the class was going to have cupcakes for a birthday party. I have a hard time with cupcakes in the classroom. Not only because John will have to sit and watch every kid around him lick frosting until their tongues turn abnormal colors, but it means Mom has to make up for it somehow.

Of course, I did. Here's a recipe for SCD cupcakes, an altered version from SCDRecipe.com. They are very healthy and actually taste like food. The more I eat from John's SCD recipes, the more I can taste all the chemicals in packaged foods. Now, don't get me wrong - I still love a good cupcake (minus the frosting) but it helps to know I can make a substitute in time of need.

Makes 4 cupcakes

1 egg

3/4 cup butter

1/2 cup honey

1 tsp. almond or vanilla extract

(Blend in blender until smooth)

Add 1 to 1 1/2 cups almonds or almond flour

(Blend again until smooth batter is formed)

Pour in cupcake pan. Bake at 300 degrees until light golden (test with toothpick).

Frosting:

Whisk together small amounts of honey, almond butter and vanilla extract to taste.

Spread on cupcakes!

Little Sister, Gift from God

About three weeks ago Ella was sitting on the floor watching an LDS movie. John was bouncing in a laundry basket making his sounds. It was Sunday, a time when John gets overstimulated and needs to let loose...then he tries to hold it in once we get to church.

As he slammed his bottom down repeatedly on the laundry shouting "WHOOOO!!", Ella looked at me. She had a very frustrated look on her face.

"Why does Johnny do 'dat, Mommy?" she asked.

I came and sat on the floor next to her and gave her a hug. She received it like a child should...with arms around my neck and waiting for an answer. I loved this opportunity to teach her.

I whispered, "John has a lot of energy in his body before church. He has to get his wiggles out." She stared over at him, wishing for the bouncing and screaming to stop.

"You're a good helper, Ella. You do a good job with Johnny," I continued. She took a deep breath and went back to her movie, instantly forgiving all of her brother's quirks.

Fast forward. Last night I watched as John and Ella wrestled on the floor. She laughed and giggled as John chased her with a pillow. They rolled on the floor and bear-hugged each other laughing the whole time.

I watched Ella as she interacted with Big Bro. With tolerance and patience she endures it all so well.

John gets a lot of attention. He's the first child, the first grandchild. And for that, he deserves attention. But then when I look at Ella, I remember John would be lost without her. We all would. That's why we cherish her so much.

She sits with us when John is having fits and helps squish him with pillows when he needs it. She even comforts Mom during stressful times.

She may be a little sister, but she's a BIG helper...truly a gift from God.

Autism and Vaccines...Brace Yourself.

"Enough about autism." "Another post about autism?" "This is ridiculous."

Those are the thoughts that go through my mind before I write anything about autism. Then, like a wave, I get an overwhelming feeling, "You are called to do this."

Whether my mind is just playing games or I really am being compelled, it's better to be safe than sorry. So here it goes: Autism and Vaccines.

Some believe thimerosal, a mercury solution used to preserve vaccines, is a major cause for autism. Back in 1998, Dr. Andrew Wakefield and 12 other doctors did a study on 12 autistic children with gastrointestinal problems. His theory, and I do say theory, was if you give 3 vaccines together there's an increased risk for a bad reaction in the body. He thought there was a connection between BOWEL DISEASE, autism and MMR vaccines.

Well, rather than first attacking the issue of BOWEL DISEASE, the public latched onto an easier idea. Instead of readjusting their food diet, they said, "Let's stop giving our kids vaccines!"

Now, with measles cases rising and risks of death increasing, we are facing a scary situation.

This morning I received a call from Adam about a recent study done at Columbia University by Dr. Ian Lipkin and the Center of disease Control, along with Mass. General Hospital and Trinity College in Dublin. They found no relationship between the timing of the vaccine and the gastrointestinal issues or autism, testing 25 children with GI problems and autism.

Now, it all gets really technical...there are flaws in Wakefield's findings and I'm sure there will be discrepancies in Lipkin's research as well.

Adam and I have been asked numerous times whether we believe John's autism came from his vaccines. Our answer is clear: NO. John's symptom's of autism came from the day he was born. We are certain food has been a huge contributor to his poor mental/physical health. John has had bowel issues since birth. Now, we have literally made our son's diet a science experiment, eliminating foods and watching carefully for reactions.

For some families, this overwhelming...after all we live in a society that has an emotional connection to food. How on earth can we deprive our son of Doritos and soda?

Is mercury OK to put in vaccines? No. The government could do better at making a more natural, absorbing vaccine. We can all work towards encouraging government officials to create safer vaccines.

Tips:
In the meantime, I believe all families with children on the spectrum should try an elimination diet. And when I mean try, I don't mean for a couple months. I mean a reputable diet lasting at least over 6 months. The work is well worth it. There are many diets to choose from. Our favorite has been the SCD diet but there are plenty of others.

If this is still to much work, look for a good doctor and ask to have full blood work done to see if there are any food sensitivities...don't let them tell you no. We had one pediatrician tell us blood work doesn't show any food issues...a blatant lie. Get some blood work done!

We have seen remarkable improvements from John's diet. Within 24 hours of his diet, all of John's tantrums stopped. He was no longer banging his head into things and screaming. He still has symptoms, but there ARE genetic links that we have to work with too. Therapy and early intervention is so helpful.

Conclusion:
I'm no expert. But I've learned so much this past year I feel like my head is going to explode.

One thing I know for sure, I'd rather have my son's autism symptoms more prevalent than have him die from measles.

Taking away vaccines is not the answer. There are millions of people all over the world dying from the diseases we can prevent. I'm going to be really bold here...everyone should be vaccinated. Not vaccinating is taking a deadly risk. If people are paranoid about giving their children multiple vaccines in one shot, find a doctor who will give the shots separate and space them out further apart.

Society is making a huge mistake by not vaccinating because of ONE controversial study.

Happy Birthday Allison!!!

We all love you and hope your day is fantastic!

Autism Red Flags

I decided to write an Autism Red Flags post for family and friends. We hope you read through these warnings signs and learn how detect autism early on.

If diagnosed at a young age, autistic children can benefit from early intervention more than at any other time in their lives. Youth is the opportunity to treat autism. Even high functioning autistic behaviors which are not treated can cause lifelong social struggles.

If you detect any of these symptoms in your child, please seek help. The following red flags can be found on AutismSpeaks.org and FirstSigns.org.

• No big smiles or other warm gestures by 6 months of age. (Make sure the baby is smiling at people, not just things)
• No back and forth sharing of sounds by 9 months of age.
• No babbling by 12 months.
• No words by 16 months.
• No two-word MEANINGFUL phrases by 24 months. (Imitating or repeating what you say does not count)
• Any loss of speech or babbling skills at any age.

Remember, any delay or lack of these social milestones is grounds for immediate evaluation. If you notice anything not quite right about your child's social skills, please seek help. John should have been diagnosed earlier than age 5. We thought something was not quite right about how he interacted with us. We first went to the school district and they immediately picked up on John's delay. To family, please remember there is a genetic link to having autism. Tell your child's pediatrician he or she has a relative with PDD-NOS.

As Adam and I become more familiar with the disorder, we are beginning to notice children at parks, stores and other places who are exhibiting social delay. It is difficult for us to "hold our tongue" when we know how much early intervention helps. We can't just say, "Hey, there's something wrong with your kid."

Instead, we hope our blog will encourage parents to understand the warning signs and ask for help if they need it. I hope you will ALL feel free to ask questions.

Labor Day in New Mexico

Bruny, the baby cow.

Ella getting warm by the wood burning stove. It rained hard!

Greg showed Adam and John how to work the tractor.

So they helped dig the road.

Tom the cat is so sweet.

Walking through the field. We all have chigger bites now. We thought Greg looked funny dancing around the house. Now we're dancing too. OUCH!!! It feels like fiberglass all over your body.

Alli picked great fruit from the trees.

We went outside to find a gorgeous double rainbow stretched across the entire sky.
The pictures don't do it justice.

Alli picked John this apple from the tree. It was SO good.

The barn.

Cousins at the creek.

Ella helped Bastian all the way back from the creek.