Yesterday we had a usual busy day with school and the dentist. I was folding laundry in the laundry room and John came up to me asking for a popsicle. I said, "No, we're going to have dinner soon."
John reacted in his usual way, this time he slammed the dryer door into my knees.
Call it a disorder, call it being spoiled...whatever it was - I was FED UP. I grabbed his little arms and swung him into the time-out spot. I don't spank the kids. I'm proud to say they don't know what a spanking is. But I certainly had one firm grip on John.
I went back to the laundry room and just couldn't cool down. My mind reflected on my own childhood and how times have changed so much. If I slammed the dryer door into my mother's knees when I was little, I don't think I would have seen the light of day again.
Adam came to check on me and I let out my frustration. I complained how I wasn't getting respect and how the children were treating me horribly. Suddenly I realized I wasn't teaching them how to treat me.
John came out from time-out and I told him to march himself into the laundry room. He rolled his eyes at me. That was IT.
I let out a yelling, crying fit pointing my finger at John telling him how he doesn't respect me and I will take everything away from him he EVER shows disrespect like that again. Long story short, the rest of the night was filled with a family night about giving and respect and being grateful.
I showed John and Ella pictures of starving children on the computer. We sat down together and brainstormed ways to be grateful and giving during Christmas.
I have no idea if my "Mom Gone Mad" ordeal has traumatized them. But Adam and I learned a lot about teaching the children better. John said we needed to do a better job teaching them how to be grateful and giving. Adam and I agreed. I didn't go to bed last night feeling guilty. I felt more determined to teach John and Ella.
Do any of you have "Mom Gone Mad" stories?? Please share.
8 comments:
All I can say is that a human being can take only a certain amout of stress and then they blow their top. As you know, spanking was practiced when you were growing up, something that we had learned as a disciplinary measure when we were kids. There were many times that I really went overboard with the physical discipline and to this day I'm not proud of it.
But as I say, we can take only so much before we let loose, so I wouldn't beat yourself up over it. It was nice that you had family time later and explained to the children just how grateful we all need to be.
Oh Anya, we've all had moments like this. Good for you for recognizing the the lesson that could be learned from it. You are such a great example. :)
All Moms, and Dads for that matter, have a point of going mad. But I actually think that it is a good thing. One of the most important things we can teach our children are boundaries. John crossed one with you! I have struggled at times wondering why you and David did not learn certain lessons by listening or watching and it turns out that we don't really learn very well that way. We do it by making mistakes and dealing with consequences. That type of learning comes at every age.
John learned there was a line he shouldn't cross only when he gets to a point where the consequences are so bad that he doesn't wish to incur them. I don't know whether he hit that level or not, but your thought that you would not have seen the light of day pulling that on me is a true one - you had learned there were boundaries with your parents you were not going to cross.
You also learned something in the moment about your own boundaries of behavior. You should feel blessed that you were given the challenge you had and what opportunities of learning came to both of you.
As for stories, I know I probably did it a hundred tmes, but I don't remember them specifically. I just look at you now and know that I must have, somewhere along the line given you some boundaries or you would not be the special woman you are now. (I am not taking credit by any means but it helps me to think that maybe, in spite of my errors as a parent, I still had a part to play in who you are now!)
Great job to both you and Adam!
I have too many to even begin to narrow one down to tell. I have mommy rage quite a bit, my poor kids. I wish I could calm down and try to do what you did and teach them how to be better.
Anya I hope you don't mind that I read your blog since I don't know you that well.( I also feel I get to know people better this way since everyone is so busy) But I think to many of my days are like this. You are such a neat women. I always feel uplifted reading your wonderful posts. I also feel I can learn from you.Thanks
Sweet Anya, you have no idea what a special person you are. You are a rare jewel. Every mother has these moments. Every MOTHER! These are the moments to teach our children. You did it beautifully. Love ya, Lori.
You should ask my kids about Mom gone mad....or maybe not. Try going one step worse....ask Jason about the wife gone mad.
HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, starving children....that was great. I'm learning from you guys!
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